How to make your Mum Proud

So another prostitute has emerged, blinking into the daylight and shouting to the media about her liaison with a Premier League footballer.

Apparently all she wants to do is 'make her mother proud.'

So she sleeps with Wayne Rooney for a few hundred quid whilst his wife is pregnant, announces it to the world and then takes a cheeky swipe about HIS morals.

Her nickname is 'Premiership Jen'. She's boasted of sleeping with a further three Premier League footballers, and has claimed she performed a sex act on a well-known striker in a nightclub toilet before charging him £75.

Amazing isn't it. And very noble.

When I was a child, all I had to do to make my Mum proud was to avoid picking my nose in company.