A Costa Cruise, a Cockroach, and me!

I've been reading with fascination about Captain Francesco Schettino's strange behaviour in the recent Costa Concordia disaster.

It must be incredibly difficult for an experienced sea captain to fall into a lifeboat and not be able to get back out. But having had experience of Italian crew ship members aboard a Costa cruise, I can't say I'm too surprised.

Many years ago I took a trip on the Achille Lauro (which eventually caught fire and sank in 1994). It was termed a 'luxury cruise ship'; an ambitious description.

On our first day in the cabin we were joined by a plump, satisfied, cockroach. I called the steward.

"There's a cockroach in our cabin."

His use of the English language inexplicably became a little hazier.

"Cockroach? I not understand."

"Down there. Look." I pointed at the cockroach which was cheerfully waving its antennae at us

He looked. "I not see anything."

Suddenly the cockroach sprung into action and scuttled enthusiastically towards my bed.

"THAT cockroach."

"Ah." There was a pause. And then, defensively, "It's come in from outside."

I gazed out of the porthole, at the deep waters of the Mediterranean.

"It must be a good swimmer."

He waved a nonchalant hand.

"Anyway, it's lucky."

"I don't need to know it's name. Just get it out of my cabin."

He turned to me, his English getting better as he became more excited.

"It is no problem. There is no problem him being here. NO PROBLEM. It is LUCKY to have a cockroach in your cabin. Ask anyone."

I glanced at the cockroach, which had reached my bed; no doubt in the process of slipping it's pyjamas under my pillow.

The Steward turned to leave. This conversation was not going in the right direction.

"I DO NOT WANT TO SHARE THIS CABIN WITH A COCKROACH. IT IS NOT ACCEPTABLE."

The cockroach was eventually removed, with the utmost hostility from the Steward; no doubt becoming a 'lucky' mascot for some other passenger.

And I was 'persona non grata' for the rest of the cruise.

All I can say is that if I had had to face that particular Steward in a tussle for a lifeboat...my money would have been on the Steward...